get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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