My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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