Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
