your thong is hanging out like whoa
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
A bitchslap is in order.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
