Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
