Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
