Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize