Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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