omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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