Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
