dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
