soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
