id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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