I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i think i have herpe
just one?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
