I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
