Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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