Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I have aggressive nipples.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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