No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
