You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
