this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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