Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My vagina is officially offended.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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