His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
