maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
its not stalking. its research.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize