i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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