Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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