She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
