hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
is it fun? or sober?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
