I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
