if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
