Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
