By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
