Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
