I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
