I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
