return my video game
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize