i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
