You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
