No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
