Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
