haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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