I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
