small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
