I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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