He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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