you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
