i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
