So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
