So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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