break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
