he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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