doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize