didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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