So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
