so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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