Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
