all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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