I heard we made out
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
