Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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