Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize