I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
