11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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