I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
