you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize