How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize