What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
its not stalking. its research.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
