Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
