I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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