Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
