Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
