It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize