I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Alive.
So much puke
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
