As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
