How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
