No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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