I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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