I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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