8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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